My brother Wilf was a hilariously funny man. Kids and animals adored him and throughout our life he always had a myriad of pets that he raised in the home. Orphaned raccoons, skunks, goats, turkeys – wild and domestic, Canada geese, injured snapping turtles, the occasional cow and numerous generations of cats and dogs. Every one of these animals, including the skunk, followed him around as he worked in his shop or in the barn or wandered the back 40. Wilf, throughout his life, had nomadic tendencies and travelled North American all summer, long with his 2 sons and his nephew (our son). He was a man of numerous careers. He started his working life as a high school teacher which provided many summers of non-stop travel. After numerous years, he left the profession to experience various other ventures. First, head back to university and start pre-medical studies. A year in, he decided his future as an electronics repairman with a focus on TV’s would be a more suitable career. Then, his university studies in economics and commerce laid the foundation for many years as a tax auditor for the provincial government. Later in life, he inherited the family’s hobby farm on Wolfe Island, near Kingston, Ontario, and moved in with his partner. Once there, he decided he needed to fulfill his last nomadic urges and started his last career as a long-haul truck driver travelling through eastern North America while his partner looked after home and farm. He retired at 68 yrs and lived happily puttering around the farm, travelling coast to coast on occasion and living a happy life. Wilf was forever active, always busy, always looking for the next adventure. He was the family “free spirit”. Well educated, well read and always in joking mode. 

At age 78, Wilf was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease. Shortly after his beloved partner died suddenly of cardiac arrest in the middle of the night. Wilf was devastated but carried on without her. Unfortunately, Parkinson’s came fast and furious. Within a couple of years, he was suffering with constant fatigue, abdominal pains, difficulty walking, falling, and difficulty getting back up. By the time he was 80, he was barely able to fend for himself. He moved in for a year of care with our younger brother and wife on Wolfe Island. There he needed daily help to function, and he was devastated by his loss of independence and increasing disabilities. His swallowing reflex was starting to give him problems, and the risk of choking became a constant concern. As his deterioration continued and became too difficult to be handled by our elderly siblings, he moved to Toronto to live with his adult son. 

Throughout his life, Wilf had been a vocal proponent of some form of dying with dignity. He had several scenarios worked out as to how he would like his life to end. It was always a family laugh session as he regaled us with his plans. Needless to say, when MAID became legal, he was a very happy man. 

In Toronto, his disease progressed and his abdominal discomfort became unmanageable. With the help of his son, he accessed and was approved for MAID. The date was set for a Monday morning at 11 am, and he would be accompanied by both adult sons for the appointment. Wilf was extremely happy with his decision. On the weekend before, the family visited and a mini celebration of his life occurred with lots of memories and non-stop laughter as we reminisced the many “hilarious antics of Wilf”. We left laughing and in tears at the same time. 

It was decided by family members that at Wilf’s appointed time for MAID on Monday 11 am, we would all go online and raise a glass of wine in memory of Wilf and his very funny life. What we did not know: Wilf was late for his appointment because he insisted on having a bowl of chocolate ice cream “before he met his maker.” At the appointed time of MAID, the rest of the family – all went online and raised their glasses in his memory. Meanwhile, Wilf was still very alive and well in Toronto. Shortly after noon, the phone rang at my brother’s home on Wolfe Island. My sister-in-law answered. It was Wilf! My sister in law’s first words were “Wilf, where are you calling from”? Needless to say, once more, he had us laughing hysterically. 

He left this world happy, as he wished. He left his family laughing as was his character throughout his life. Both sons repeated how he left this world joking with the Doctor as MAID was being performed. And in my mind, there is no better way to leave a life well lived. Thank you, MAID!

 

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If you want to learn more about end-of-life planning and navigating the MAID process for yourself or a loved one, please visit wecanchoose.ca, a new educational website from Dying With Dignity Canada