Kate’s story: My dad chose a medically assisted death. This is my celebration of his life and choice.

Dear friends and family,

Thank you to all of you for coming out and to everyone near and far who have expressed your support and shared stories, anecdotes and photos with us over the last few weeks.

I was wondering what I would talk about that would add to all of the amazing tributes that many of you have made honouring dad’s life and accomplishments. So I thought I’d talk about a different topic, and the sad reason we are all gathered here today — his death and the way he chose to undergo it.

As I think all of you know, dad chose to undergo medical assistance in dying (MAID). For years, he felt preoccupied by the right for people to choose how they exit this life and was even involved in lobbying for the legislation to be introduced in Canada. As such, he was able to choose a specific date and time and could be surrounded by loved ones.

Although the days leading up to his death were sad, as we were in the unusual and novel predicament of knowing exactly how much time he had left, we were able to share many meals, gatherings, memories and stories. The phone seemed to ring constantly with close friends calling to offer their last respects, and dad exchanged innumerable messages and tearful goodbyes. Although emotional, it had a celebratory feel and it was a memorial that dad was able to fully participate in.

At the appointed time, he rose from the couch, hugged each and every one of us who was there and walked into his bedroom. His doctor placed a catheter, and my brother and I sat on the bed beside him, holding his hand and caressing his head while he received the injections. It was peaceful and powerful, and I felt overwhelming love and gratitude that I could be there to send him on his way.

Kate and her dad, Mark, in 2010 — a few years before his diagnosis.

As a veterinarian and animal lover, I have assisted many living beings through their final minutes and felt the relief of easing their suffering, but also the responsibility of making a very difficult decision. With my father, the responsibility was shouldered by him, which allowed me to feel only comfort and relief that he would not have to endure the increasing levels of pain and debilitation caused by widespread cancer.

The legislative process seems designed to reduce the responsibility on any individual doctor: both his oncologist and palliative care doctor needed to consent, and their decision required two witnesses. The request is only approved following a 10-day waiting period and dad had to sign a final consent minutes before the procedure. Dad was also fortunate that he fulfilled the somewhat narrow criteria for permission.

There are no words to express my gratitude to the Canadian government for passing legislation allowing MAID. A few days before he died, dad and I were discussing politics (no big shock there) and I was surprised to hear his positive accolades towards Justin Trudeau. It was only when I was writing this that it occurred to me that it is not Justin’s curly locks and boyish charm that won over dad, but the courage of the Liberal government to pass this legislation.

“Dad’s final courageous and generous gift”