I support Dying With Dignity Canada’s efforts to legislate advance requests for MAID. Dementia has run rampant through many generations in my family. Death took decades to relieve them (and those who loved them) from the degrading horror. My younger sister is the most recent victim. I have lived in terror of the probability that I too will be afflicted, and, in fact, increasing forgetfulness leads me to believe my own degeneration has begun.

Meet my Auntie Joy. Both figuratively and literally, she brought joy to everyone she met in life. As head flight attendant for a major world airline, she travelled the world and bubbled with fascinating stories. She loved music, she loved art, she loved everybody — she loved life. She signed her letters “Joyously.”

Auntie Joy turned 102 years of age this year. Her body carries on. Twenty-five years ago, she lost vision and hearing and, soon thereafter, her cognition. After her teeth fell out, she could eat only eat pureed foods. She became immobile and incontinent. Joy has recognized nobody for nearly twenty years and has been unable to communicate for the last ten. Saddest of all, perhaps, there are now no family members to check in on her. All have died, moved closer to their own caregivers, or have themselves been claimed by dementia.

Fortunately, Joy had signed a financial agreement upon admission to this facility. It ensured her continued care there for as long as needed. Her substantial savings ran out years ago. Because of her longevity, that care home discontinued such agreements.

The photo of the elderly Joy was taken at Christmas 2019, before the COVID pandemic. It was a joyless occasion because only her physical remnant was there. She was one of the first in that home to test positive during the pandemic. It might have been a merciful end for her, but she was asymptomatic. Instead, she infected her caregivers. 

My turn with the family dementia approaches. I pray I will be able to sign a legally recognized advance request for MAID services at a specified point in my own deterioration process. I want to be permitted the same humane release that I would grant to a beloved family pet. 

Auntie Joy was an independent woman, a role model, and a trail blazer. I hope her story can also make her a trailblazer for the right to advance requests for MAID.